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'A Light Shines Through'
We live with a sense of the Mystery's mystery until living simply with the Mystery. We are, then, at peace with the ambivalence, no longer feeling mystified; the Mystery, at first the exception, is the normal.
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A Zen Story -
A young Zen student was on the way to buy vegetables at the market for his monastery. He met a boy from another monastery, whom he had seen occasionally.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"Where my legs direct me," the boy replied.
Thereupon, the young student contemplated the boy's answer, thinking there must be some meaning hidden in its depths.
Back at the monastery, he told of this conversation to his elderly master. The master said, "You ought to have asked the boy what he would do if he did not have any legs."
The next day, the student again happened upon the boy. "Where are you going?" he asked, and before the boy could answer, he said, "Oh, I know… wherever your legs direct you, I suppose!" "Nope!" came the unexpected reply. "Today, I am going the way the wind blows!"
This reply threw the student into so much confusion his mind went blank. Back at the monastery, he related the event to his teacher. "You should have asked him what he would do if no wind was blowing," remarked the aged master.
A few days later, the student came upon the other boy at the market. He spoke, "So, where are you off to this time? Where your legs go or where the wind blows, I suppose. But, what if ...." "Neither of the two," responded the boy, with a cheeky grin. "Today, I am here to buy vegetables!"
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A temptation on the Way is to hanker after hidden, esoteric meanings. The ego likes to claim unique insight reserved for a few. The ego will be more attracted to spiritual guides that promise this specialness and appear to embody such uniqueness. This singlarity is tantalizing to the self seeking the spiritual spectacular.
Walking with Spirit means not clamoring for secret teachings or esoteric knowledge. Such revelations or insight might arise. If this happens, it happens. Do not seek it. Do not get the special-craving. One is prepared for largely unknown insight by living contentedly with the more known.
The Way will show you want you need to know, but only if you keep walking the Way. What you do not know now, you likely do not need to know now. To demand to know what you are not ready to know is a trap. To see what you are not prepared to see is not wise. Just keep walking! The walking humbles you, weans you of spiritual greediness. So, you become more prepared for insight in that you no longer feel a strong urge to get it.
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Sometimes, when speaking with persons about spiritual matters, I leave feeling we talked all around something. I sense we were distracted from the Center. This intellectual exploration is good if it prepares us to see the Sacred in everyday life. This is not good if it is a mere seeking for answers.
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The boy who gave different answers, refusing to allow the young student to see only one way of what he was doing, represents the need for confusion arising from the Way's elusiveness. Life is intimate, yet it defies being known intellectually. Life is slippery, when you try to grab it, it defies capture. The elusiveness confuses us. Through the confusion, we learn the limits of our reason and grow in contentment with merely walking the Way. Merely becomes the great adventure it already is.
We do not have to live in this confusion, however. By welcoming the confusion, rather than seeing it as a problem - such as, a lack of faith or intelligence -, confusion transforms into clarity. The clarity is to see directly, to live intimately, rather than seeking the answers. Then, in closeness with Life, questions lose their power. The Ineffable becomes a welcome environment.
We enjoy walking the Way, not confused but not having much insight. Yet, a little insight is all we need. We do not have to know much. Mostly what we need is simply living with heart-open to Grace in its many manifestations we encounter daily. We are not here to understand Life, we are here to fall in Love with Life.
So, for this confusion to become clarity, we cannot deny or seek prematurely to transcend it. We live confused until the confusion is no longer present, for the questions no longer hold sway over us. Then, the Mystery is something we are intimate with, more intimate now for honoring Its hiddeness and elusiveness.
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*(C) Brian K. Wilcox, 2021
*Brian's book, An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major online booksellers or the publisher AuthorHouse. The book is a collection of poems based on mystical traditions, especially Christian and Sufi, with extensive notes on the teachings and imagery in the poetry.
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